Joe’s head jerked back and forth as he took in sharp breaths. His eyes began to well up as he fearfully checked his surroundings.

“Not an easy thing to have the curtain pulled back. At least you made it back, not everyone does.” Listin said patting Joe on the back. “Tell me, how many did you see? One? Two of them?”

“What?! Umm, I saw five,” Joe said, gathering his breath. “Maybe six. I don’t know what the last thing I saw was.”

Listin’s bloodshot eyes looked at Joe inquisitively, “Really?” He took a swig of his beer, flexing his temples and gritting his teeth. “Joe, help me with something. If I wanted to create Dynasty Startup Rankings for the 2024 season, how would YOU PERSONALLY go about that?”

Joe covered his face first with a blanket, then a pillow, but no matter how hard he tried, he could not fall asleep. Turning over in bed, he stared at the soft pink glow that emanated from Sauron’s night light. The wheel squeaked as the hamster ran round and round in his cardio contraption. No matter what Joe did, Mary was all he thought about.

“HI THERE!” the girl replied. 

Her voice pushed Joe’s heart over a cliff. Oh shit, there’s a girl living in my pipe! SHE MUST BE TINY! Joe scrambled for a witty first impression, but his mind was as still as a statue, leaving his mouth open in no man’s land. 

Joe slept contently in his bed as a rock clinked and clacked its way down the air supply pipe before smacking him right between the eyes. “What the FRICK!” he exclaimed rubbing his forehead. Picking up the rock he remained motionless as he squinted into the pitch-black pipe. “It’s a BEAUTI-FUL MORN-ING! Ahhhh! I think I’ll stay inside for a while!” Jim shouted as he kicked in his son’s bedroom door. 

Once a year, the nation of dynasty managers gather together to pay tribute and offer up sacrifices in hopes of a fruitful season for their rosters. At the center of this festival looms an overwhelming structure. The marble facade boasts a colonnade design that towers high into the sky, reflecting brilliantly in the sunlight. At the precipice of the entrance, you take a deep breath… and then you are plunged into a world of chaos. Welcome to the Rookie Stock Exchange.

It all began with the forging of YouTube. Some channels were given to the Film Scouts; discerning, headstrong, and admired above all others. Other channels, to the Data Lords, great miners of analytics and craftsmen of regression tables. And the rest were gifted to the race of Content Creators, who above all else desire Underdog sponsorships. One by one, they released videos on the 2024 Rookie class, fighting over Drake Maye, ranking the Big 3, and thumbnail supremacy.

As a powerful ancient order, the Scouts’ influence on steering NFL franchises can not be measured due to their shadow of secrecy. Carefully analyzing thousands of prospects across hundreds of schools, they meticulously develop a network of informants that spans the entire world of football. Being worthy of such responsibility requires great sacrifice and time discipline. For nine months straight and 16 hours a day, scouts dedicate themselves to travel and gathering intel, enduring great monotony and isolation. It is arguably the most difficult and important position in the NFL. Driving this group is one simple maxim they live by: We don't hope, we plan. And their plans are measured over many years in case their prospects fail their promise. Their power comes from the ability to breach space and time as they look to the past to help their organizations into a better future. 

The player referred to as “BYU” is 4-star recruit Makea “Puka” Nacua out of Orem High School in Utah. He was ranked as the 8th WR in the nation and the 48th overall player after setting a multitude of Utah and national records in high school. He received offers from Oregon, UCLA, USC, and Utah to play college football, but ultimately accepted an offer to become a Washington Huskie. Puka played in the first eight games of his freshman season, catching seven passes for 168 yards and 2 TDs before breaking his foot. The following year he managed nine receptions for 151 yards and 1 TD in three games during a COVID-shortened 2020 season. After two limited seasons at Washington, Puka moved back to his hometown Provo to support his mother and family when his grandmother was diagnosed with cancer. In his first season as a Cougar, Nacua caught 43 passes for 805 yards and six touchdowns, including four 100-yard games, and 148 yards on the ground at 10.6 yards per carry. He was 2nd in the FBS with 3.44 yards per route run, 61% of his yards were on receptions 20+ yards downfield, and he was 9th in the FBS with a 16.7 average depth of target. In his final year, Puka led BYU with 65 receptions for 625 receiving yards and five touchdowns, with an additional 25 carries for 209 yards and five TDs, despite being limited by a knee injury. Diving deeper into his analytical profile, Puka was 4th in the 2023 WR Draft Class with 15.93 PPG (Tank Dell was 1st, 19.13), 1st in targets per route run at 37.9%, and he dominated for multiple years of his collegiate career. So how does a prospect like him fall to the 42nd pick in the 5th round?

It has long been mankind's dream to reach the distant lights in the night sky. This pioneering mindset has been the banner call of one agency in the fantasy space - The National Analytics and Strategy Administration. With breakthroughs in optimal roster construction, data analysis, and player evaluations, the brightest dynasty scientists and engineers are closer now to answering the most pondered questions about the fantasy cosmos. 

Late is the hour and waning are the moments you have left before the Sandman comes to take you away. You open your Sleeper App with just enough time to tuck in each of your rosters for bedtime, looking at each of your players with pride and joy. Overwhelmed with the worry of losing everything you fought so hard to build, you contemplate on how to best protect them. From the crack of the doorway, you whisper to yourself, “Perhaps there’s a wee bit of luck left for me to squeeze out of today. I’ll send a trade to elevate my squad to new heights and secure my future!”

What is the most important asset in fantasy football? Elite quarterbacks? A treasure trove of picks? Or maybe it's powerful tools and analytics? That would make sense if we were robots or viewed fantasy as purely transactional, but there are aspects of fantasy football that are far more organic. In leagues that allow you to trade, your most important commodity is relational capital. In today’s leagues, trading requires more than specialized knowledge, salesmanship, or waiting for a fish to come to bite your hook. If you want more managers to dine at your table, you need to be a hospitable host.

“I can’t believe I … if only I … how could I … I wish I had done things differently.” What happens out in the field is in the hands of an agent. They must be prepared so that they can endure and survive any obstacle in their path. A life dedicated to such rigorous standards is defined solely by success. Having the best intel, the greatest tech, and the most favorable circumstances can often lead to a sense of invincibility. Unfortunately, sooner or later, everyone encounters something they never trained for: failure.

There are various schools of thought on how to run a roster. Some have enough resources that can be deployed to overwhelm their competitors. Others rely on skillful manipulation to gain the upper hand. Regardless of how you achieve your goal, it cannot be argued that mission success can only be achieved through efficiently managing your assets. In our line of work, we carefully plan for the scenarios that may arise, but we do not waste valuable resources chasing the ‘what-ifs?’ Countless agents meet their doom because they were unable to make the cold and calculated decisions of what was best for the mission. They became too attached, always believing that every single asset was the key. In a game that relies upon quick reflexes, it is essential to understand the difference between an asset and a liability. The following principles can be applied in your startup drafts and throughout the regular season, but given the time of year, there will be an emphasis on how to best manage your rosters heading into the off-season. With this training, you won’t hesitate to pull the trigger.

Footsteps from a pair of rattlesnake boots echo through the abandoned warehouse. They scrape across the concrete floor before they finally come to a rest in front of a row of shipping crates, each with a glass of aged tequila resting on top. Gathered around these crates are leaders of the Asset Trafficking Syndicate, commonly known as the Dynasty Lords. With outstretched arms, the man in the boots smiles and says, “Gentlemen, thank you for being here. We have a common goal. We have fought hard to be here. What I propose is that at this moment we form an organization. Bringing our resources together to strengthen our position in the league, we will share knowledge and trade away the finest assets only amongst ourselves. Let us make it known to our league that we control the championship. Inside each of these crates are the highest-valued players and picks in the league. If you place your trust in me to manage the operations, I promise that each of you will have your moment of glory, and you have my word that I will destroy anyone that gets in our way.” Each of the Dynasty Lords looked at one another nodding before they reached for the glasses glistening in front of them. Raising their drinks in the air, they proclaimed in unison, “Al Patrón!” The Dynasty Lords had now become the Contender Cartel.

Your senses are heightened as you look out your passenger-side window and bounce through the narrow city streets. In four unmarked SUVs, your covert ops team does its best to not draw any attention from any rooftop spotters. Based upon intel from your white-suited contact, the asset traffickers were looking to sure-up their remaining weakness at the RB position. The mission details were simple: extract the remaining RB assets before the dynasty lords, forcing them to move their picks out in the open and hopefully make a mistake. As you struggle to control your breathing, you notice the man sitting beside you is completely calm. A local advisor that you had no prior knowledge of before the mission briefing only a few hours ago. “Nothing will happen en route,” he says, “don’t worry.” You reply, “How can you be so sure?” Looking out the window he softly replies, “You’ll see.”

It’s dark and you can barely make your way through the thick crowd at the Last Dance nightclub. The blasts of mariachi trumpets and electric guitars ring in your ears as you are being escorted past the stage. You reach a stairwell guarded by two more men who pat you down and grant you passage with a slight nod. You descend into an entirely new world, hidden away deep below. In it you see a long wooden bar with low-lit glass shelves and at the end of it a red leather booth with a man in a white suit.

You shut the door to your small apartment, leaving the grueling five-day day-work trip and all of its demands behind you. Before you even take off your coat, you’re at your bar cart reaching for the Scotch your old Case Officer gifted you last Christmas. A deep exhale leaves your body as you think to yourself ‘Thank God that’s over.’ Only a brief moment of solitude passes before your phone rings. It’s the Chief of Station. “Agent, there’s been a murder of a failed-contender earlier this evening. I need you to go investigate the scene and then visit the coroners afterward. I’m sending you the address now.” “Sir, isn’t that for local law enforcement?” you reply. “This isn’t a regular murder, Agent. There’s evidence that ties the victim with high-level asset traffickers.” You say, “I already have my coat on sir, I’ll get right on it,” and then hang up.

At this stage of the season, you can no longer view your league mates as friendly competitors all striving towards similar goals. There are allies, who will help you achieve your mission, and there are enemies who wish to destroy your goals. The highest-level threat known to the agency is the Asset Trafficker. These individuals specialize in the illicit trade of both high-value players and the stockpiling of draft picks. Their smuggling business includes leveraging early-projected draft picks, elite QBs, young WRs, bell-cow RBs, and ultra-productive TEs. Early after a league’s inception, these individuals will own up to half of the high-value draft picks heading into the off-season after the first dynasty championship. In the first year, they have built a network of relationships in which they have supplied the contenders with the “valuable” players they needed for their championship run. But in actuality, the contenders who fail to reach their ultimate goal now find themselves in the pocket of these Asset Traffickers who now own their entire future of draft picks. The most dangerous Asset Trafficker is the manager who not only stockpiles assets but also information. These individuals are known as Dynasty Lords.