WK 8 - Top 2024 Quarterbacks

Wicked QuarterBacks

Attention, K-Mart shoppers. Well, I’m back. I feel real good about myself. You know what I mean? So, without further delay...

Beetlejuice - Beetlejuice

Image created by T-Rock

It’s Showtime!

Deep beneath the earth, dozens of Bath & Body Works candles flickered in the darkness of Beetlemeat’s den. Sinking deeper into his La-Z-Boy while humming “Running Up That Hill” to himself, Beetlemeat opened the Sleeper app to set his lineup.

“Damn injuries. Up thirteen percent, huh?”  Beetlemeat mumbled to himself. “Well, I better find a replacement. Let's see. Trade Block. Ooh-la-la. What do we got here? Show Me Dem TDs, huh? Looks desperate and dumb,” he chuckled to himself. 

Show Me Dem TDs was fifth in scoring, but was 8th in the league standings.

“Fucking ARich!” Dem TDs shouted. “How can you be tired?! You can’t last more than two games before your dumbass gets hurt or benched! Freaking Flacco and Jameis have already been picked up. All that’s left is Bryce Young?! Fuck! What am I going to do at QB? Where’s my “Peaceful Meditation” playlist?!?” she said furiously scrolling through Spotify. 

“The following ad has been brought to you by: Rooster’s Wings - A Fun, Casual Joint,” the advertisement began.

“Oh God, I would kill for some fried pickles right now,” Dem TDs said to herself. 

“Is your team trapped in roster hell? Is your league as lively as a cemetery?” Does your trade inbox make you want to walk into traffic? Are you tired of getting fucked six-ways on Sundays with injuries?” exclaimed the ad narrator. Dem TDs looked at her phone in bewilderment. “Well, put down the bleach and pick up the phone, 'cause I'm dynasty's leading roster consultant. Yes, sirree. Konami QBs, Dual-threat RBs, Alpha WRs, and that’s it, folks. You name it, I got it! No need to talk to your inbred leaguemates who are constantly trying to swindle you. I got all the players you want and I’m slashing prices!” Beetlemeat howled with the snap of his whip. “Exclusive Rookies (‘Don’t worry about production’ the narrator whispered)! Guaranteed Vets (‘Don’t worry about age’)! Wow! You can't beat that, can you? So come on down and see me. And bring your girlfriend, or bring your wife, it doesn’t matter. Don’t delay, call me now! And remember: I don’t win until you start winning!”

Show Me Dem TD’s thumb trembled over the advertisement. I’m tired of losing. It’s now or never. Pressing firmly down on her phone, the lights around Dem TDs began to blur and the room spun rapidly as she was teleported to a dimly-lit room. 

Image created by T-Rock

QB Bona Fides 

The Quarterback position remains the Agency’s highest priority in SF leagues. Make no mistake, the war will be won or lost depending on this position in the coming weeks. Carefully review the following Field Generals vetted by our QB Selection process.

Baseline

PPG (6-pt Passing TDs): Courtesy of Sleeper

1. Lamar Jackson - 29.8 PPG

2. Baker Mayfield - 29.4 PPG

3. Jordan Love - 24.6 PPG

4. Jalen Hurts - 23.9 PPG

5. Josh Allen - 23.5 PPG

6. Joe Burrow - 22.7 PPG

Strong Indicators

QBR: Courtesy of ESPN

1. Joe Burrow - 75.4

2. Lamar Jackson - 74.9

3. Kyler Murray - 74.4

4. Josh Allen - 73.7

5. Jayden Daniels - 72.7

6. Jalen Hurts - 69.3

Rushing TDs: Courtesy of PFF 

1. Jalen Hurts - 7 TDs

2. Justin Fields - 5 TDs

3. Jayden Daniels - 4 TDs

3.  Bo Nix - 4 TDs

5.  Josh Allen - 3 TDs

5.  Brock Purdy - 3 TDs

Passing Grade: Courtesy of PFF

1. Joe Burrow - 88.3

2. Lamar Jackson - 87.8

2.  Derek Carr - 87.8

4.  Jayden Daniels - 81.7

5.  Justin Herbert - 78.8

6.  Kyler Murray - 78.6  

Neutral Pass Rate: Courtesy of Hayden Winks, Underdog

1. Joe Burrow - 0.64

2. Kirk Coursins - 0.6

3. Derek Carr - 0.59

4.  Justin Herbert - 0.58

4.  Geno Smith - 0.58

4.  Aaron Rodgers - 0.58 

ADOT: Courtesy of PFF

1. Anthony Richardson - 13.3 yds

2. Brock Purdy - 10 yds

3.  Trevor Lawrence - 9.7 yds

3.  Sam Darnold - 9.7 yds

5.  Derek Carr - 9.4 yds

5.  Jordan Love - 9.4 yds  

Fair Indicators

Adjusted Yards Gained Per Pass Attempt: Courtesy of Pro Football Reference

1. Lamar Jackson - 9.95 yds

2. Jared Goff - 9.39 yds

3. Josh Allen - 8.97 yds

4. Sam Darnold - 8.81 yds

5. Jayden Daniels - 8.67 yds

6. Brock Purdy - 8.21 yds

Passer Rating: Courtesy of ESPN

1. Lamar Jackson - 115.4

2. Jared Goff - 115.3

3. Russell Wilson - 111.9

4. Josh Allen - 107.6

5. Sam Darnold - 107.2

6. Joe Burrow - 106.5

Big Time Throw Rate: Courtesy of PFF

1. Josh Allen - 7.5%

2. Anthony Richardson - 7.2%

3. Justin Herbert - 6.3%

4. Tua Tagovailo - 5.8%

5.  Sam Darnold - 5.7%

5.  Kyler Murray - 5.7%  

Passing Attempts Per Game: Courtesy of PlayerProfiler

1. Geno Smith - 38.5

2. Dak Prescott - 37.4

3.  Baker Mayfield - 35.5

3.  Aaron Rodgers - 35.5

5.  Daniel Jones - 34.8

6.  Kirk Cousins - 33.9  

Rushing Yards Per Game: Courtesy of PlayerProfiler

1. Lamar Jackson - 62.6 yds

2. Jayden Daniels - 53 yds

3. Kyler Murray - 43 yds

4. Anthony Richardson - 40.3 yds

5. Justin Fields - 38.5 yds

6. Jalen Hurts - 36.4 yds

Turnover Worthy Play Rate (Lowest): Courtesy of PFF

1. Joe Burrow - 1.3%

2. Lamar Jackson - 1.4%

3. Aaron Rodgers - 1.5%

4. Jayden Daniels - 1.8%

5. Bo Nix - 1.9%

6. Geno Smith - 2.1%

Faint Indicator 

Adjusted Completion Percentage: Courtesy of PFF

1. Patrick Mahomes - 80.2%

2. Jayden Daniels - 79.4%

3. Joe Burrow - 79.3%

4.  Jalen Hurts - 79.2%

5.  Derek Carr - 79%

6.  Justin Fields - 78.8%

6.  Baker Mayfield - 78.8%

6.  Jared Goff - 78.8%

Results

Overall:

1. Lamar Jackson

2. Joe Burrow

3. Jayden Daniels

4. Brock Purdy

5. Jalen Hurts

6. Josh Allen

The Ghost With The Most

Dem TDs was immediately greeted with the strong scent of Sweater Weather, working overtime to overpower the thin veil of armpit that lingered in the air. She approached the kitchenette slowly and found a handwritten note that read, “Make yourself at home and pour yourself a glass of wine. Dinner will be ready soon. I hope you like Italian.” She pulled the box of Franzia wine to the edge of the counter and pressed the spout down into her Solo cup. Walking past the oven, she saw the cardboard and wrapper of a 4 Meat TombStone pizza. What did I get myself into?

Emerging from the other room, Beetlemeat was dripping wet, presumably from taking a shower, but was somehow still stinky. He had the gut of a man who was practiced in the dark arts of boozery and BBQ. Seeing her, he grinned ear to ear, showing all of his discolored teeth.

“What’s cookin’, good lookin’?!” Beetlemeat said excitedly. “It’s not often I get company in the Meat Mansion. This calls for a special occasion!” Snapping his fingers, flames erupted from a newly manifested fireplace. Beetlemeat was now wearing a burgundy smoking jacket, embroidered with the initial’s “BM.” 

“Here have a seat,” he said motioning to the couch. Dem TDs nodded and nervously smiled but then paused when she saw the men’s magazines scattered on the ground. “Don’t mind the mess, the maid is out,” Beetlemeat laughed to himself. “These are just draft guides for research,” he said shoving the pornos underneath the couch. 

“Now, let me guess, you want a massive, blockbuster deal to put your team over the top. Let me ask you somethin’. How attached to your first-round pick are ya? Do I have a shot at it at all?” Beetlemeat inquired.

“Well, I’m not sure about a big deal or losing my 1st,” Dem TDs responded. “I mainly want a QB2 to help make a push for the play-”

“I GOT JUST THE GUY FOR YA!!!” Beetlemeat blurted. “The RED RIFLE! Andy Dalton!”

“Is he even starting?” she asked.

“YEAH! Probably! Eventually….maybe….” Beetlemeat said unconvincingly. “How about Aaron Rodgers?! He’s got the old band back with his guys Adams and Lazard!”

“Eh, I don’t know. I feel like his stock is plummeting.”

“Oh, I didn’t realize I was talking with the Wolf of Wall Street here! How did your Rice and Jamo trades work out for ya?!” Beetlemeat snapped.

Dem TDs was speechless as she stared at Beetlemeat. Rising from the couch, Beetlemeat grabbed her arm. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, don’t go!” he pleaded with her. “Look, I get it. You updated all of your player’s nicknames with trade prices that the other managers promptly ridiculed. In terms of who to start and who to sit, well, it doesn't matter cause all your best players will be dead and starting in your IR slots anyway. It’s BRUTAL!”

“So what should I do then?” she said defeated.  

“Here’s the thing, I want to help, but your team sucks bad, and that’s okay because if you follow everything I say then you’ll be fine!” Beetlemeat said reassuringly. Dem TDs’ expression became cold and rigid.

“Handsome T-Rock sent me an offer with Baker Mayfield. Doesn’t Baker have a high WoRP?” she inquired.

“Baker Mayfield?! Why in the world would you want him? His best receiver is Cade Otton. Don’t worry about WoRP, analytics, or any other type of numbo-jumbo that comes out of T-Rock’s mouth.” he said condescendingly. “My best piece of advice for ya: join my Patreon. That way, you’ll have access to my rankings and to the Discord! Full of high-powered mutants and degenerates like yourself. You’ll love them!” Beetlemeat smiled, his eyes closed.

Show Me Dem TDs was already halfway out the door when Beetlemeat opened his eyes.

“Hey! Come on! You’ve gotta work with me here. I’m just tryna cut a deal. What do you want me to do? The least you can do is subscribe to my YouTube channel!” he cried out. 

“I’m taking the Baker deal,” she said spitefully.

“Go ahead, trade with T-Rock! I don’t care! I got garlic bread in the microwave and a Tinder date on the way!”

“Goodbye Loser!” she said with disgust.

“You don’t deserve Andy Dalton!” he shouted as the door closed.

Works Cited

• PFF

• PlayerProfiler

• ESPN

• Pro Football Reference

• NFL Week 8 Recap - Fantasy Usage Model by Hayden Winks

https://underdognetwork.com/football/analysis/nfl-week-8-recap-fantasy-usage-model-2024

Image created by T-Rock

Image created by DK

Week 8 Waiver Targets

Waiver Targets

The South Harmon Agency has more high-tier operatives gathering intel than ever before. Be sure to keep your channel open and collect data from the various sources as it comes in. In terms of FAAB bidding, review your league’s previous waiver behavior to navigate the wire best. The waiver wire will become more bare as the season continues, especially in best ball formats.

ReDraft (most of these players will be rostered in Dynasty leagues)

• Ricky Pearsall - 25% rostership, spend 20-25% FAAB (A favorite prospect of ours, Ricky checks off every box as a mid-season chip-piece. Pearsall has amazing athleticism and route-running ability. He plays on a top-10 offense with only Kittle, Jennings, and Deebo ahead of him. With how often San Fran’s playmakers are injured, we anticipate Ricky being the #2 or 3 option moving forward as an upside FLEX option. By week 10-12, he should be locked in to aid in your playoff run. Downtier for him in Dynasty leagues.)

• Jonnu Smith - 7% rostership, 5-8% FAAB (A top TE in week 7, Jonnu was the focal point of a pitiful Miami offense with 7/7 for 96 yds, 1 TD. Miami will improve significantly with Tua returning to the team in week 8, but it’s unknown if Jonnu will be an afterthought behind Tyreek, Waddle, and Achane. With the uncertainty of the TE landscape, Jonnu is an upside TE2.)

• Jameis Winston - 3% rostership, spend 5-8% FAAB (Nothing compares to the Winston experience. There will be a few highs and interceptions galore, but the pre-game hype and post-game interviews make it all worth it. Unfortunately, Jameis has nothing to work with behind a decimated line, but the adventure wouldn’t look much different on an elite offense. Ride the Jameis Train until it flies off the tracks in 2-3 weeks.)

• Taysom Hill - 23% rostership, spend 1-3% FAAB (Taysom has missed the last 3 contests due to fractured ribs, but with the Saints falling apart on both sides of the ball, the team is desperate for playmakers on offense. We doubt that the return of Carr will recapture the spark they had at the beginning of the season, but Taysom is continually underrated. Sneak Taysom onto your team as an upside backup TE.)

• Jalen McMillan - 6% rostership, spend 1-3% FAAB (With Mike Evans re-aggravating a hamstring injury and the severity being unknown, the rookie WR carries the most upside to step-up on this top 10 offense.)

• Marcus Mariota - 0% rostership, spend 0-2% FAAB (Jayden Daniels left week 7 against Carolina with a rib injury. Luckily Daniels did not suffer a fracture, meaning he will likely only miss 1-2 games. Mariota will be the starter against the Bears and possibly versus the Giants. The Bears are a superior defense compared to the Panthers, making Mariota a desperate play.)

• Tyler Goodson - 15% rostership, 0% FAAB (Goodson: 14 carries, 51 yds, 1 TD (48% snaps), Sermon: 8 carries, 36 yds, 1 catch, 13 yds (52% snaps). Goodson is the better RB, but with JT slated to return next week Tyler’s outlook is capped. The Colts are an awful offense, so don’t get too carried away with this pickup unless there is a change at QB or JT misses additional time.)

Dynasty

• Noah Gray - 40% rostership, 8-10% FAAB in Best Ball (The Chiefs passing attack is shockingly unwatchable. With Juju getting knocked out of the game, it wasn’t Kelce but Gray who led KC in receiving with 4/4 for 66 yds. These are certainly strange times we are playing in.)

• Kalif Raymond - 17% rostership, 5-8% FAAB in Best Ball (Kalif has turned in 2 solid performances in a row on an offense that looks almost unstoppable. Kalif will rotate with Tim Patrick as the #3 WR, but offers upside as a cheap option in all Best Ball formats.)

• Jake Bobo - 18% rostership, 3-5% FAAB in Best Ball (Bobo didn’t show up in the stats on Sunday, but those who are in the know are aware that Jake is a favorite amongst the Seahawks receivers, especially in the redzone. With DK Metcalf being week-to-week with a knee injury, look for Bobo to see an increase in opportunities.)

• JaMycal Hasty - 8% rostership, 3-5% FAAB in Best Ball (Hasty stepped up with 5 catches for 49 yds & 1 TD after New England lost Polk, DeMario, and Gibson getting banged up as well. This offense offers very little upside, making Hasty only worthwhile in Best Ball formats.)

• Jacob Cowing - 47% rostership, 1-3% FAAB in Best Ball (With Ricky Pearsall ownership being universal, the next best available option is rookie Jacob Cowing. The 4th Rd pick carries a big-play upside but his opportunities will be limited behind Deebo, Jennings, Pearsall, & Bell.)

• Mason Tipton - 23% rostership, 0-1% FAAB in Best Ball (The weekly top receiver for the Saints will be a revolving door, with none of them being worthwhile outside of Best Ball formats. As an undrafted rookie, the Yale prospect carries some upside with his 4.33 speed.)

The Dossier

Image created by DK

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